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Bootleg City: Frankenhood

June 6, 2009

Still grillin’…I am making a grilled pizza today–wish me luck. Have been watching a few films…I must say that Issa Rae is a much bigger woman than moi, cause I couldn’t get past 20 minutes of the wretched “Dance Flick”. Everything in that film was more than played out ten years ago, and with good reason. I’m really becoming afraid that Essence Atkins, whom I adore and who was in “Dance Flick” (also “Love For Sale”), is slowly and unfortunately becoming the female Clifton Powell of low brow and straight to DVD movies.

Also saw  “Drag Me To Hell” the other day, against my better judgement, cause many critics and blogs said it was great. It was aaaiiiggghht, but drooling, vomiting, and disgusting slime every few minutes does not equate horror to me, just nasty grossness that I can do without. But of course, if Sam Raimi, the director of “DMTH” is at the top of the comedy/horror genre, “Frankenhood“, the film this post is dedicated to, is below the absolute bottom. It is around the corner, 10 miles down, and buried beneath a septic tank.

According to IMDB, the plot is this: ‘Two guys who work at a morgue enlist the services of a reanimated corpse to better their chances at a streetball tournament’.

Yeah, these dudes get a Frankenstein-like corpse dude (who has the acting skills of one) named Frankie (genius!) that Charlie Murphy has been working on, and reanimate him to win some low budget basketball tournament against the guy who played “Wee-Bay” in “The Wire”. Wee-Bay is waaay too intense for the throwaway lightness of this movie–I think he was reading from a different script, or maybe he thought he was in a different film.

Charlie Murphy had the good sense to show up for like 10 minutes in the beginning, get his paper, and then isn’t seen again until the last 15 minutes of the film….too bad the others didn’t follow suit. Though this is billed as a “comedy”, there isn’t a laugh to be found, anywhere in sight. It is flat, stupid, pointless, and senseless, much like the comedy stylings of it’s lead, DeRay Davis. I hope I never see that dude around, cause his over the top “ain’t I so funny” arrogance would make me run for the door after 5 minutes.

This movie is just a series of disjointed things that very slowly happen and meander, with nothing to drive the plot or add to it until “The Big Game”. Would this have been a better movie with different actors, as none of them barely register while you are watching? I say no, as the movie is chock full of lazy scriptwriting, Black cliches, phoney weed smokin’ situations, and depressing jokes. It was directed by someone named “Blaxwell Smart” . Ya think that’s his real name? Methinks he was too embarrassed to take credit for this dreck…even Clifton Powell avoided this one.

The most interesting thing I’ve found about DeRay Davis as of late is definitely not this film, but a story I spotted on my new guilty pleasure “Tales From A Groupie“. To read about the sorry escapades of DeRay (I’m not surprised) click HERE. Much more enjoyable to view than this dismal flick!

Here is the trailer…watch at your own risk:

7 Comments leave one →
  1. SDG permalink
    June 6, 2009 5:02 pm

    I just can’t girl. I can’t take it. How do you do it? I mean, there are films so bad, they are good you know? I love me some good camp/crap, but this is going too far. Essence as Clifton Powell? Somebody throw her a life preserver before it’s all over.

    • Rocky Horror permalink*
      June 9, 2009 12:11 pm

      Girl, even I don’t know how I do it. Sometimes I am fascinated by the low budget horribleness of it all–and afterwards I get mad at myself for watching. Kinda like eating fast food.

      I too hope Essence gets help (or a least a new manager and agent) before it’s too late.

  2. June 9, 2009 8:21 am

    “I’m really becoming afraid that Essence Atkins, whom I adore and who was in “Dance Flick” (also “Love For Sale”), is slowly and unfortunately becoming the female Clifton Powell of low brow and straight to DVD movies.”

    HILARIOUS!!! Her “black-cent” in that movie was atrocious. On the other hand, I can’t believe you sat through this film. DeRay definitely thinks he’s wayyyy funnier than he actually is. Please tell me you watched this film WHILE grilling, just for some background noise?

  3. Rocky Horror permalink*
    June 9, 2009 12:15 pm

    Yeah, it was pretty bad, though I could barely get past the first scene she was in. I gotta give it to her, tho–she is a very game chick.

    DeRay most def thinks he’s hilarious; I have seen him laugh at his own jokes doing stand up many times. What he is laughing at, I’ll never know, cause his jokes have no rhyme, reason, or real punchline.

    I am embarrased to say I watched the whole thing grill-free. How I did this and not Dance Flick is baffling even to me, lol

  4. June 19, 2009 7:18 am

    I saw this one on the shelf at Walmart, and as you know, the soulbrother is a big fan of good bad movies. And from the cover of this one, it appears that it is pretty bad. I was going to buy it, but they wanted $14.99 for it. I’ll not pay a penny over $9.98 for some foolishness like this.

    • Rocky Horror permalink*
      June 19, 2009 8:44 am

      $14.99? Sham F’n Wow. That’s guts I tell ya….needless to say it will be collecting dust until it’s transferred to the $1.99 bin…please don’t buy even at $9.98.

  5. October 27, 2010 4:45 pm

    i would love to watch dvd movies all day and all night long;,”

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