Bootleg City: Love For Sale
Have you ever had a major crush on a movie or TV actor, and they made a career move that was so repulsive that it smashed all of your fantasies/hopes/dreams into a million little pieces? Well thanks, “Love For Sale” for demolishing my Jackie Long crush, never to be revived again.
I don’t even know where to begin with this one, it would take an hour, at least. To put it in a nutshell, it is the story of a rib joint delivery dude (Jackie), who seems very happy with his station in life for whatever reason. He is in love with Mya (the singer), who has a jealous and muscle-bound boyfriend…really more obsessed than jealous. That is the storyline—with a ridiculous subplot about Jackie’s uncle (the dude that played Blacula’s sidekick) saving his ancient recording studio with the most untalented rap group this side of Vanilla Ice, but thanks to the miracle of Hollywood Bootleg, in this movie they become “what’s hot in the streets”.
That’s the whole movie, nothing more; Jackie Long chasing Mya with absoluteley zero game, money, charm, charisma, or swagger, and the making of some wack ass rap song by two backwards window lickers. Oh yeah, Clifton Powell is in this movie too–it is always him or Samuel Jackson in every film ever made. To say anything more about this movie would be giving it credit for actually exsisting, which it shouldn’t. For the second time in 2 months, after viewing this and “The Last Stand“, I am positively begging Russ Parr to stop making movies; they are so lifeless, joyless, and dreadful. Move on, dude–it’s obviously not going to get any better. Here is a clip; trust me, this isn’t even the worst of it: